Benji’s BlogDay 40 – we continued our chat on Social Distancing today. He says on the matter “woof woof woof woof woof” which for him was quite chatty. So he’s wondering whether all this isolation means he’s missing out on tummy rubs and ear tickles. I explained that I thought he was doing pretty well in the that department so then he said he’s not even sure what 6 feet is. So I found an illustration for him.
Day 39 – Well as usual the fluffy little Chihuahua talked me round. I swear he has me wrapped around a furry little paw. He has agreed to pass a message to Sofia from Ralf. The message is as follows:
Ode to a Squirrel 🐿
Your reddish fur does match my eyes 👀
Your tail makes mine look flat
I wish to share my life with you even though I am a rat 🐀
I’d give you all my food and water
Find for you some nuts 🥜
I really like you Sofia
I’ll find us both a livable hut
Day 38 – Things have got a little complicated over here. Ralf the Mouse (Rat) has asked Benji to act as a go between himself and Sofia (Squirrel). When we got in after a visit to his favourite lamp post he said “woof woof woof” obviously I replied that yes I know Ralf is a friend but that I didn’t think this could possibly end well (think Romeo and Juliet but with claws and tails).
I also pointed out that he might want to suggest that Ralf takes a little holiday after yesterday’s trauma.
Day 37.5 of the lockdown blog. Benji’s words this evening were “woof woof and woof” emphasis on the woooof. Basically the rats are running riot. After he told me he saw one near our car I opened the curtains just in time to see it make a rather magnificent jump up into the nether side of our car. Showing an uncharacteristic amount of speed I limped out to my car in pjs and bright orange clashing hoody sporting the latest in designer stormtrooper water pistols I opened the door started the engine and stood back. It was at this stage that Benji said “what the woof” as the rat ran over my foot and took off for the other side of the car park (sorry fellow residents) like in the words of Meatloaf “a bat out of hell”. Staring at the car park is now apparently an essential part of our evening. Not sure who got the bigger shock the rat when I started the engine or me when it ran over my foot!
Car temporarily moved to a neighbours space as it was that or sit on the patio with a water pistol all night.
Day 37 – Benji noticed that I was a little sad last week having heard the sad news that Tim Brooke Taylor died. Benji said “woof woof woof” so I told him about the Goodies. I explained that it was a really funny program when I was young. As soon as I mentioned an over sized gigantic kitten from the episode Kitten Kong he was interested. We both sat through the Goodies song from the early 1970’s “The funky gibbon”. Benji says “woof woof woof” which in this case means you have got to watch this. He the continued to say “woof woof woof” which meant I laughed so much I had to visit my lamp post.
Day 36 – Benji and I were chatting today about the rat problem again. It ended up with me telling him about my previous encounter with rats. Many years ago I explained Auntie Tania and Auntie Georgie had a hairdressing salon and I lived upstairs with Louis dog. Benji didn’t understand what a hair salon was until I explained it was a bit like Fine and Dandy his dog groomer but for people. Well we had a serious rat issue and went through a great deal of effort to sort with the issue. Sadly none of us thought through the probable result of leaving rat poison down over night whilst not knowing where the rats lived. Once they started keeling over and kicking their furry little legs in the air we slightly too late realised they lived in the walls and behind the wood panelling. We didn’t need a nose as effective as Louis to realise that dead rat behind the panels was not a good thing. Enter the deratter tool (really should have got a patent on it). So Tania and I worked out with a great deal of sniffing that we had a decomposing rat in the middle salon behind the wood panelling. We carefully removed the end piece and spotted the smelly culprit approximately 3 feet back. So the problem was how do we get the rat out without dismantling the shop. With the aid of a stick, duck tape and a very large table spoon I contrived the deratter tool. The rat was thus removed and so Tania and I held our noses and carefully lifted the smelly rat out of the confined space. A couple of Tesco express bags later we were done. 1 rat down many more to go!
Day 35 – Benji and I have been discussing whether to purchase a small doggy paddling pool for the patio. I had to explain that our yearly holiday would be cancelled this year . His comments regarding this were “woof woof woof” and if I interpreted this correctly and ignore the naughty word he will miss paddling and the ice cream from West Bay. Anyway, as I was saying paddling pools. Cousin Ruby and Cousin Luna up in Croydon have a pool so we are definitely thinking about it as a possibility. Benji then remarked “ woof woof woof” or as I translated it “the trouble is knowing our current situation with the rats I’m afraid that they will take the p*** (his words not mine) somewhat and use the pool after dark. He then commented I wouldn’t put it past them to put out little bath towels next to the pool! They really can’t be trusted”
Day 34 – Well having looked at the state of mine and Janes engines and having been told by the council they were doing everything they could and wouldn’t be able to get our engines cleaned (didn’t think they would but worth asking anyway) I ordered a cheap but hopefully effective hand pressure washer from Amazon so we can clean the rat poop and bones (which sadly probably belong to poor Sammy Squirrel as he is the only unaccounted for Squirrel in the area) from our car engines. The good news is though that one of our residents Kealeigh is jumping up and down with excitement at the thought of getting to play with the pressure washer. Benji says to warn him so he can make sure he’s out of the way. He’s been a little bit precious about messing his fur up since his visit to Fine and Dandy dog groomers last year.
Last minute update. You may recall an early post where Benji and I were woofing about Randy and the Rockets. Well today being Saturday if you are looking for something to do Search within Facebook for Randy and the Rockets. Live gig featuring the 4 members bought together with the aid of technology from the self isolation for a couple of hours of live music. Benji gives them a score of 5 🐾 on a scale of 1 to 5 🐾
So Benji has been in contact with Ralf again. The Rats are absolutely furious. They weren’t happy about the peppermint spray but it wasn’t much of a deterrent for them. However four or five of the residents this week have managed to access the bin bays in the hope of deterring the rats. (One resident whose name I will not repeat is not commenting about where or how he learnt his breaking and entering skills) and between us (I mean the unidentified residents) we got the large community bins tipped over and emptied. We got all the loose rubbish bagged, double bagged the rubbish bags that were there already and swept and disinfected the bin bay cupboards. I’ve always been quite proud of mine and Benji’s flat and we can certainly say we have the loveliest smelling bins in the area. The Rats really do not like the changes we have made however. Suddenly the all you can eat rat buffet is closed for business. War has been declared on both sides. The residents have all been asked to check their car engines and have been asked to double bag their rubbish for the time being. Death to the rats!
Benji also is still on rat patrol nightly and insisted I tell Jane tonight that there was a rat in her car this evening during our visit to his favourite lamp post. Unfortunately the rat did a bunk whilst we residents were all clapping the NHS. Benji star that he is woofed for the NHS of course. Despite his most recent visit to the V.E.T and a rather unpleasant encounter with a thermometer he has a lot of respect for healthcare workers. He is however very cautious of anyone wearing plastic gloves after that visit which is a bit unfortunate given the number of people wearing said plastic gloves at the moment!
Day 30 – Benji’s lockdown adventures. So Benji has been contacted by a rather timid Rat known as Ralf the Mouse. Mouse is a rather derogatory term in the Rat community apparently and Ralf has always been a bit of a loner. His family near enough disowned him when he put a picture up of the Remy the Rat from the film Ratatouille in his nest as a young rat. As great uncle Greybeard rat put it. “Rats do not deal with humans ever”. Anyway Ralf is a second cousin twice removed from Ricky. Ricky being Benji’s contact in the local community until he hitched a lift off the last bin truck out of here last bin day. So Ralf has reluctantly been chatting with Benji in exchange for being given the low down on which Rat traps have the poison in. Ralf is actually quite rare in the Rat community being both a vegetarian and half in love with a Squirrel named Sofia. Anyway to get to the point Ralf says the peppermint water is actually having an effect in that the Rat high command have issued a Level Prime one warning in our area. Ralf says this is not a good thing. Security has been increased and there are to be nightly Rat patrols in the area to ensure that access is still available to the cars for meetings