Author: dmmiles

Day 29 of the zombie apocalypse I mean virus lockdown (always get those two confused)

Benji and I have been discussing the local Rat versus Squirrel problem again and I’ve explained the concept of social distancing and how I think he ought to distance himself from the ongoing problems after dark between the rats and the squirrels. He explained that he only got involved because he was worried about me. Apparently the Mini has become a hangout for a group of rather rough rats. After Benji explained that the rats have been seen going into and coming out of the Mini’sengine space I went and checked. Benji is quite correct unfortunately as I don’t think the engine compartment of a Mini Cooper comes with small animal bones (squirrel?), ripped up tissue and rat poop as standard. This does of course mean war. 

Day 28 of our isolation. So today I sat down to watch the last few episodes of Spooks season 3 and start season 4. We’d just watched the end of season 3 mid afternoon and Benji’s like “woof woof woof” again. Apparently he wants me to put Tiger King back on. I explained that the cats weren’t actually as small as they appeared on my dinky tv (I have to admit to having had laptops with larger screen) and that as cats they really were a little out of his class. His main contact in the feline fraternity for comparison being Harry the cat from next door. Anyway we compromised and I’ve had to agree to let him watch Joe Exotics “I saw a tiger” video (again!). The things I do for that Chihuahua. 
https://youtu.be/WB6wYVCEY3w

Day 27 of my incarceration with Benji Chihuahua. Apparently the power struggle between the squirrels and the rats has escalated. Frankie “the claw scratcher” Rat has made a Squirrel disappear. The Squirrels are in an uproar after a local pigeon got involved and ratted on the rats.  Frankie “the claw scratcher” Rat  is saying nothing at the moment but there is total mayhem after dark around the bin area. Benji’s main contact from amongst the rats updated him and then left town.  He was seen catching a lift on a bin truck on Monday and isn’t expected back anytime soon.

Day 25 of my incarceration with a dodgy chihuahua . Today he brings up the topic of unions. Apparently the cats next door have told him that proper dogs eat meat! They’ve also said that if he joins a union with them they will all get more of a say on the topic of getting steak once a week. I honestly think they are just pulling his tail but he’s like “woof woof woof” on the matter. Even now at bedtime all he’s got to say is “woof woof woof”

Day 16 of mine and Benji’s incarceration. Fortunately got a slot for an Iceland delivery today so the kibble is safe. Though as a backup Benji and I have discussed whether Rat burgers are an option… Benji has an in with the squirrel mafia round here and says he may have a contact willing to point the finger at a couple of rats. Apparently there is no honour amongst vermin and the squirrels are contemplating a takeover bid.

Day 15 of our self isolation. Fortunately I am still a fair few meals away from having to steal from the extremely well stocked dog food and treats cupboard (haven’t mentioned this to Benji yet, he can be a little possessive over food!)

I guess I could always go back on the steroids I distinctly remember drooling over dog food commercials whilst on them when my hunger was through the roof. ..something to consider, it’s all premium kibble. I suspect Benji will not be impressed. 

Looking forward to joining Randy and the Rockets Saturday night for their Virtual Gig. Having been self isolating with a Chihuahua for 15 days now conversations are a little stilted. I’m like “ hey Randy and the Rockets are back on Saturday and he’s like “ woof woof woof” so I’m like “ hey you enjoyed them too” to which I get “woof woof!” So as you can see I’m REALLY looking forward to Saturday. Even started enjoying getting emails from my students.

The excitement is too much…. Benji and I are going to bed now