Benji’s Blog

Day 62 Recipe 2 – Le rat burger. Yes you guessed it Rat burger. Obviously as a gastronomic genius Benji decided it sounded better in French. Basically it’s a little like any other burger except for the burger being rat based. Benji says “woof woof” oh yes he say’s it’s really important to lightly toast the bun first and add just a little mustard. He also says it tastes great. I’m going to take his word for that (as I’m a vegetarian thank goodness!)

I don’t really want to ever find out how he knows rat burgers are yummy ugh.

Day 61

Okay so it’s Saturday again which means “woof woof and woof” that’s right Randy and the Rockets are on again tonight. Woo hoo. Um may have been locked down a little too long with just me and Benji. We were sat on the couch earlier and I was saying to him “ woof woof woof” and he replied obviously “woof woof” so I then said “woof WOOF” . Oops my bad forgot to translate I’ll start again. I said what shall we do today. Benji replied that he’d kind of like to visit his favourite lamppost and maybe chill out on the couch. I said AGAIN and then he said but it’s fun we’ve done it every other day. Can’t argue with him there I suppose. Not sure which one of us is going to have the harder time adapting when I become a grownup again and have to go teach instead of chilling with my chihuahua. 

Day 60. It has been 2 months that I and my chihuahua have been isolating together. I’m really impressed with the way I’m holding it all together. I’d imagined I’d show signs of some sort of stress or mental health issues by now but it’s all good or was until this morning.. 

Having discussed, with Benji, my younger sister’s advice that I should wear a tin foil hat so that the rats couldn’t read my thoughts and target my car more effectively Benji came up with “woof woof woof”. Okay so Benji thinks that Auntie Georgie May be trying to make me look unstable – I mean as if anyone is going to doubt my sanity.  Not sure what Benji is thinking right now but he has put both his front paws over his eyes.

Being Thursday yesterday we had a fun time watching Maddog and Moonshine putting on some live music via Facebook. So we sat watching the iPad while I used the nutcracker to break up Benji’s bedtime Bonios small enough for him to eat. I’ve got to admit it was a brainwave getting the nutcracker. It’s so much easier than using my teeth.

Oh and Benji as usual has been keeping up with the media on my iPad and says “woof woof woof woof” basically he wants you to Google Tim Jones the singing policeman. I have to agree with him on that one. I may have spent a couple of hours watching him on Facebook singing (that really wasn’t as creepy as it sounded)

Day 59 – more doggy tales. Before we move on to that though  little update. Pat the pigeon bought a message from Ralf the rat that he’d heard from Beavis the Badger that the rats have have backed off Lonsdale court. Beavis heard this from a squirrel called Cedric that lives round this way and overheard a rat meeting held last night. So the message from Cedric via Beavis, Ralf and Pat is that we might have seen the rat mafias they may be moving out of Lonsdale to “easier” areas. Good news if it’s true. Anyway back to Benji’s bed time  story.

Today’s story is a very famous doggy bedtime story. Reading this to Benji worked really well last night.

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away there was a planet called Dog-star which was full of little dogs. It was a happy planet where all the little dogs got on well together and were used to spending their days chasing squirrels up trees (please don’t tell Sofia, Ralf or Oakley about this) and chasing their tails. 

Anyway one day the planet was invaded by a big black cat and his army of white cat troopers. (This is the short version of this tale the extended version goes on for hours). One of the young dogs on the planet was called Lucky. Lucky got together with his friends Chewy (a terrier e.g all fur and teeth) and Harry (a sleek looking spaniel with white and black fur and a snazzy looking coat). Between them the three friends fought off the cats and all was well on Dog-star again. The End

Benji ended up on my pillow snoring in my ear!

Day 58

With the success of bedtime stories has had on Benji’s sleep pattern he has asked me to think of some other stories I could tell him on nights he is having trouble sleeping. So far on the list we have:

1. The  Chihuahua and the pea
2. The tortoise and the Chihuahua
3. Snow White and the 7 Pooches

I think I’m going to need more than that though if this lockdown continues.

Day 57 – well with my neighbour receiving a very large bill after the mafia rats ate through her clutch cable Jane and myself have resorted to tin foiling our cars. Tania suggested this as an option and Jane Googled it to see if it was a “thing” rather than Tania trying to make me look like an idiot (as if). Anyway Benji said “woof woof” when he saw it which needs little translation. His actual words were “you are barking!”

Day 56 – Anyway back to Benji’s sleep problem that I mentioned previously. We decided to try a bed time story. This is one of his favourite stories. So here goes…

Once upon a time there was a little chihuahua called Benji. Benji lived in a terraced row of houses with 3 other chihuahuas called Bonnie, Bambi and Tilly. Each year Benji, Bonnie, Bambi and Tilly would go on holiday to the beach where they would eat ice cream and chase tennis balls (small ones) around the garden. They would paddle in the stream at Eype and nibble at cream teas if no one was watching. The end. Having a very short attention span- Benji is now snoring away lying on my pillow.

Day 55 – Benji said “woof woof woof” the minute we got up this morning. He’s remembered that Saturday is the day we watch Randy and the Rockets at  their Facebook gig. 

Pat the pigeon dropped by with a postcard from Ralf. Sadly the postcard wasn’t all he dropped on the patio (must remember to clean that up!)

Anyway Ralf Rat and Sofia the Squirrel and little Oakley the chipmunk are nicely settled in their new home in a forest not too far from here (can’t tell you where exactly what with them being in witness protection and everything). So they have a spot within the hollow of an Oak tree which they have imaginatively named The Hollow. Apparently all is well and Ralf is enjoying spending time in the forest foraging for food whilst Sofia and Oakley stay home with Sofia homeschooling Oakley for now. Ralf says he is much happier away from his pack and loves foraging in the forest instead of foraging in the bins. He says it used to take ages cleaning his paws after being through the bins. He’s quite a fastidious chap for a rat. 

On the topic of Randy and the Rockets tonight Benji says “woof woof woof” okay so he says keep on woofin’

Day 54 – Benji is having a little trouble sleeping at the moment. The rat prevention put in place does seem to be working and this means he is missing out on quite a lot of jumping up and down and woofing during the evening. I’ve tried joining him down there at the patio windows and pretended I saw a couple of rats just to get him started but I should have known he’d see through that. Basically he turned round and said “woof woof woof” I.e. “you’re not fooling anyone, looking for rats is kind of my thing”. Wondering if I put on an Xbox keep fit program he might wear himself out ready for bed.

Day 52 With Benji’s recent change in status regarding mealtimes he has decided he wants to turn his paw to being a gastronomic genius. Yes he has been spending too much time on the internet watching Instagram and YouTube channels. Well he needs something to do each day whilst I’m working. So his first recipe involves duck treat open sandwich. Recipe 1 Instructions for Duck Treat Open Sandwich

Lightly butter a slice of bread (even chihuahuas have to watch their waistlines)

Scatter crispy Perrito 

duck treats (cat version not dog apparently they are more chihuahua friendly)

Finish by cutting into 8ths. A single 8th serving is suitable for 1 small chihuahua. Benji says the other 7 8ths would suit a chihuahuas best friend (I have explained that I’m a vegetarian but he still hasn’t grasped that concept).

So that’s it for Benji’s first recipe. Benji also says “woof woof woof” seriously he now expects me to find a professional photographer to sort the recipe pictures for his blog!