Benji’s Blog

Day 1 Friday 28/08. Benji’s blog the furry reboot  (also known as the vermin wars part 2)

Well it’s 62 days since Benji’s last blog entry – you may remember he tried his hand at singing. 

After reaching the magic number of 100 days of our lockdown and having completed his first recording Benji decided to take a rest from both his blog and seeking fame on social media as in his words “woof”. The last few days however he’s been on at me to start updating it again. I think it was sitting on the patio the other night watching one of the rats 🐀 in the tree overlooking us that got him thinking about his blog again. Benji said this particular rat was making rude signs with its paws but I’ll have take his word for that as I’m not up on rat sign language.  Anyway so we were chatting about how quickly the time seems to have gone and we couldn’t believe it was 2 months since his last blog post. So there we were reminiscing over our lockdown days we both agreed it’s  just as well we get on given how much time we’ve spent together during lockdown and beyond. I mean it’s not that big a flat! Yes there have been a few disagreements but nothing too serious. There was the time Benji wanted to re watch the entire Tiger King for the third time and got a bit grumpy when I wouldn’t let him. I don’t know where his fascination with big cats come from I mean his mate Harry cat next door is not overly big. Of course eventually we sat down together and came up with a compromise and I agreed to let him watch the “I saw a Tiger” video AGAIN! rather than watch the whole series again. Then there was the time he wound me up by missing his pee pad in the bathroom 3 days in a row! Apparently it was my fault for moving it slightly when I cleaned the bathroom floor because he has a very precise aim when it comes to peeing (he said). Anyway I moved the pad of course and apologised.

Day 100 Thursday 25/06/2020 – well that’s a number a a half. 100 days with a Chihuahua. Well Benji is rather taken with Penn Holderness to the extent that having seen Penn’s version of Livin on a chair he turned round to me and said “woof woof”. To which I obviously replied that I didn’t think it would be as easy as to record his own version as he thought. However while I was taking a nap he decided to get busy. 

Livin’ on a chair

Once upon a time not so long ago ….

Mommy used to have a real job
Now she’s sat at the table with a chrome book all day all day

Crispy donkeys sat on the couch
Drool has all dried he’s looking pretty so woof

Benji’s on the iPad to play, trying to be a big star he’s hoping that one he’ll make it pay

We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got there’s biscuits in the treat jar and Netflix on the box oh whoa
We’ll give it a shot Whoa we’re half way there whoa whoa livin on a chair
Take my paw and we’ll make it I swear whoa oh livin’ on a chair.

Day 98 Monday 22/06/20

So work again today. Benji says I spend too much time on the chrome book doing work. I tried to explain that teaching 256 teenagers from home was hard work but he just said “woof” to which I replied yes, that is more than 3!

Anyway so whilst I’m working he’s usually checking on his fan base and working out how to go “viral” on my iPad. So he interrupts me because he’s got a massive case of the chihuahua quacks. He’d found an off the leash cartoon that he just burst into laughter over, hence the quacks.

If you haven’t seen Rupert Fawcett’s Off the leash cartoons I totally recommend them. Benji loves them as I say. So the website is http://offtheleashdogcartoons.com but the object of today’s hilarity was this one. Having been discussing the coronavirus and the wearing of masks the other day this cartoon just cracked him up.

Day 97 Sunday 21/06/20 After last nights entertainment of Randy and the Rockets Benji reminded me that one of his favourite tracks Bon jovi’s Living on a chair has actually been recorded by Penn of the Holderness family. I have tried telling him it’s actually called Living on a prayer but I have to admit this time he got it right! He says it’s woofin good and you should check it out.

Day 96 Saturday – Benji says “woof woof” meaning rock on. It’s Saturday and we are excited that it’s Randy and the Rockets again this evening. 

Benji came across the image below when he was surfing the web. I kind of suspect that he thought this was a serious public information poster as he seriously went into a discussion about the importance of wearing face masks in public and has suggested I might like to make him one! Not sure whether I should explain this one to him or not…

Day 95 – Well in a surprise turn of events the Forest Council have put out a video from the last day of the Mafia rat trial dealing with the murder of Finn the Pigeon (Pats cousin) I think it speaks for itself.

Day 94 – Benji has also introduced me to the Holderness family on YouTube! That dog spends way too much time on social media if you ask me but he just says “woof” when I bring the topic up. Apparently he says he needs to do research if he’s ever to go viral. I did say that “viral” might not be his best choice of words at the moment. 

Anyway our favourite episode from the Holderness family at the moment is this one, as a teacher I found this way too amusing (my apologies to all parents that are struggling with schoolwork at the moment)

If you remember the 80’s and REO Speedwagon the video may appeal to you

If you don’t know the song – this is the original 

Day 93 – Recipe 5. So another day and another recipe in the life of an Influencer dog. Today’s treat is Caramel ice cream a la duck treats. I know, he gets through a lot of Perrito duck treats. Instructions for this are as follows. Find a Small bowl (old GU dessert bowls are perfect apparently).

Put a little Caramel ice cream in the centre and sprinkle duck treats liberally. Benji says “woof woof woof” which means it’s important to get lots of duck treats in there. The dish is now ready to be served.  Care should be taken not to get Ice cream in the fur around the neck as Benji says it’s a pain trying to clean neck fur!

Day 92 – Recipe 5. So another day and another recipe in the life of an Influencer dog. Today’s treat is Caramel ice cream a la duck treats. I know, he gets through a lot of Perrito duck treats. Instructions for this are as follows. Find a Small bowl (old GU dessert bowls are perfect apparently).

Put a little Caramel ice cream in the centre and sprinkle duck treats liberally. Benji says “woof woof woof” which means it’s important to get lots of duck treats in there. The dish is now ready to be served.  Care should be taken not to get Ice cream in the fur around the neck as Benji says it’s a pain trying to clean neck fur!

Benji has also introduced me to the Holderness family on YouTube! That dog spends way too much time on social media if you ask me but he just says “woof” when I bring the topic up. Apparently he says he needs to do research if he’s ever to go viral. I did say that “viral” might not be his best choice of words at the moment.

Anyway our favourite episode from the Holderness family is this one:

If you remember the 80’s and REO Speedwagon the video may appeal to you

Day 91 – time for an update. Good news from Bosco the badger. Bosco is a representative on the Forest council for this area. Apparently after a rather traumatic trial in which Pat had to hear the details of Finn his cousins death at the hands of the rat mafia, the rats have been found guilty and banished from the area. They were seen slinking away with their tails not at the usual jaunty angle to say the least. Benji is pleased things seem to be settling down at last. He was a little indignant yesterday however watching a squirrel 🐿 walking around the underside of our car looking like he was trying to find a way in! I can’t repeat what he said but it started with “woof woof woof”.

Benji is also quite pleased I went out for the first time yesterday. I drove over to mums and sat in her back garden for a while carrying out essential maintenance on Bonnie the chihuahua. Apparently Bonnie has gone three months without a pedicure and was starting to walk funny on super long claws (ouch).